Posted: 02/01/06


by Clint Fletcher

Special Report:

THE 5th ANNUAL DOUGHBOY AWARDS!


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Hello all, your favorite critic Fletch here. The results are in for this year's Doughboy Awards. Thanks again to all who voted and we'll see you guys next year! -Fletch


BAD-ASS OF THE YEAR
Mickey Rourke, SIN CITY


P.O.S. * OF THE YEAR
DOOM


BEST LINE OF 2005
"Only two things can happen when you go out with a woman. Either they don't sleep with you, then there's really no reason to ever call them again. Or they DO sleep with you, then there's really no reason to ever call them again." -Ryan Reynolds, WAITING


BEST 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN LINE OF 2005
"You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, 'I like it when balls are in my face.'" -Paul Rudd


COOLEST KILL OF THE YEAR
Miho unleashes her Samurai wrath, SIN CITY


MUSHIEST CHICKFLICK
TIE: JUST LIKE HEAVEN and PRIDE AND PREJUDICE


BEST SEX SCENE
Vince Vaughn gets tied up, WEDDING CRASHERS


BEST GIVEN MIDDLE FINGER
Keanu shoots Satan the bird, CONSTANTINE


MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER
Johnny Depp, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY


MOST PERVERTED TITLE
HERBIE: FULLY LOADED


BEST DANCE SCENE
Closing 'Age of Aquarius' dance, THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN


MOST F****D UP SCENE OF THE YEAR
Girl dives into container of needles, SAW II


BEST ASS-BEATING
Brad Pitt vs. Angelina Jolie, MR. AND MRS. SMITH


MOST APPALLING SPORTS COACH
Kim Cattrall, ICE PRINCESS


BEST COMEDIC SIDEKICK
TIE: Dane Cook (WAITING) and Vince Vaughn (MR. AND MRS. SMITH)


WORST ENDING
WAR OF THE WORLDS


HOTTEST ASS OF THE YEAR
Jessica Alba, SIN CITY, FANTASTIC FOUR, INTO THE BLUE


PRETTY BOY OF THE YEAR
Jake Gyllenhaal, PROOF, JARHEAD, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN


MOST EXCITING MOVIE MOMENT
Batman summons his bats, BATMAN BEGINS


GUILTIEST PLEASURE OF THE YEAR
THE ISLAND


BEST CAMEO
Will Ferrell, WEDDING CRASHERS


MOST IDIOTIC TITLE
MRS. CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS


MOST CONTROVERSIAL FILM
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN


WORST 'BLACK' COMEDY
THE HONEYMOONERS


MOST TRAGIC MOVIE DEATH
Shepard Book and Wash, SERENITY


BEST MALE CAMARADERIE FLICK
THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN


FUNNIEST ANIMATED FILM
WALLACE AND GROMIT


BEST SLOW MOTION SEQUENCE
Vaughn/Wilson bah mitzvah dance, WEDDING CRASHERS


WORST HAIRDO
Hayden Christensen, STAR WARS: EPISODE III- REVENGE OF THE SITH


BEST DAMN MOVIE OF THE YEAR
BATMAN BEGINS


BEST DAMN ARTSY-FARTSY MOVIE OF THE YEAR
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

* Piece of shit

Read Clint's previous Rant on New Year's Resolutions here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Santa's Mailbag here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Release Date Retards here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Chris Tucker here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on 80's Comedies here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on More Gems From The Mailbag here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Remakes here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Paris Hilton here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Stoopid Emails here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Rappers who are wannabe actors here.
Read Clint's previous Rant on Why Action Movies Ain't here.

Clint Fletcher is a screenwriter and filmmaker in search of Hollywood.

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